| Forerun. |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|02:29 am] |
I DISLIKE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY.
I HAVEN'T STUDIED FOR THE QUIZ AT 8:30AM TODAY.
OR THE OTHER ONE AT 7:30AM.
I THINK I SNIFFED TOO MUCH METHANOL DURING THE EXPERIMENT YESTERDAY.
I CAN ONLY BREATH THROUGH ONE NOSTRIL.
I WANT TO SLEEP.
And.
And.
And.
Run.
And.
There is a play on words here. Do you see it?
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| What do you want me to say? |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|08:42 pm] |
That all the hard worked paid off?
That, ladies and gentlemen, would be what we call a lie. The world doesn't need another one.
I.
I don't know.
I can't bring myself to read my History readings. Just 24 pages, and I just can't do it. Now I have no time to read about mitosis and meosis for Genetics, because I will end up falling asleep earlier than usual, because I have lost the will to stay up late to slave over school.
Why did I use up all my diligence and academic responsibility in grade school?
And it didn't help that I found 青の炎 with subtitles because I then told myself that watching the first few minutes wouldn't hurt.
And not even a minute into the movie and a teenage boy is curled up inside a glass box he has in his garage-turned-bedroom, when he could have left earlier and not have risked being late for school.
It reminded me of that box we turned into a boat for our Noli Me Tangere play. (The one I stepped into and lay down in and closed the flaps of in the middle of the driveway. I can't believe that was almost 3 years ago. I kind of miss it.)
I am in love with his character already. |
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| Going down? |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|09:27 pm] |
And this was supposed to be for shoot-me-I-don't-want-to-go-back-to-school and other related matters.
Note: Fully Booked Rockwell Customer Service Guy said everything in a very Regina-George-Plastic-bitch-you're-wrong-I'm-right manner.
( 234q35uyrjfh. )
I was just asking if they had something or not. A simple yes or no question. What the hell, man.
Anyway.
I was on the couch from 3:00pm yesterday to 12:15am today watching Stand Up!!. I thought I'd squeeze in that second drama before school starts. My mom sat on the couch when I was halfway through and she ended up watching episodes 6 to 11 with me. That was kind of weird, my mom and I watching a drama where four teenage boys try to lose their virginity. And my mom was laughing and making side comments and everything.
Shit.
I just remembered.
And my brother just asked me if we still have music notebooks.
Shit.
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| What about coffin-like boxes? |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|12:24 am] |
I was going to write something kind of long involving a conversation with my brother, rudiments of music, jealously (of this brand–remember your alphabet, Casi!), minor waves, major waves, pins and needles, slight restlessness, semi-saccadic eye movements, heavy breathing, incoherent sounds of frustration, swearing out loud in crescendo, applying pressure, a little bit of unpleasant nostalgia, over-resurfacing of memories, and self-combustion starting from the brain, but then, I realized I could do it in one (run-on) sentence.
Do words have temperature? Because if they do, that would kind of make this like the Ideal Gas Law. Kind of. CHEMISTRY? WHAT CHEMISTRY?
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| "What always happens." |
[Oct. 24th, 2009|10:15 am] |
So the other night, I saw something that tugged at my chest, and last night, I heard something that tugged at my chest. To the former, I said it out loud, which I have never done before. "I'm jealous." Even if I have no reason to be. To the latter, I started looking stupid so I just decided to quietly sit down and politely cover my ears until it was over. I already had it typed/written out. WHY DID I PUSH IT BACK? Why the fuck should I care? Someone said it. I'm not over [three letters]. I'm not over you. It would have been good. The same, old, regretful, inconsistent, could-have-been-better, should-have, God-I'm-an-idiot complaints.
But then, something kind of good happened.
And then I started thinking there must be something wrong somewhere. In one of the, uhm, lines. And after a few minutes, I got my calculator and started computing the distance to the next, uhm, thing. Is it possible to be diagnosed with chronic denial and disbelief?
I also dreamt about Travis last night, and that would be the first time I've seen him in about a year. My dad asked about it (not the dream), to which I replied,
"Withdrawal symptoms."
"From what?"
To which I replied– |
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| Paper planes. |
[Oct. 18th, 2009|05:25 pm] |
Excuse me while I pretend Chemistry doesn't exist for the next three weeks. Also because it's probably the only bothersome thing I can successfully not think about right now. This weekend I: - woke up and went back to sleep several times in the morning. - ate macadamia nuts and roast beef. - stayed in my room almost the whole time. - watched a video that made my love for Ready to Fly grow very big. - tried to remember the odd dreams I've been having lately. - decided I want giant microbe plushies. (How can you not want to hug the Penicillium chrysogenum, or the Staphyloccocus aureus, or the T4 bacteriophage? You can even get them in petri dishes! HOW ADORABLE. AND LOOK AT THE ANIMATED BRAIN CELL. HOW ADORABBBLLLLEE.) - will finish Honey and Clover, Season 1. - will re-watch the video that made my love for Ready to Fly grow very big so that it may grow even bigger. - am avoiding a major decision. A major decision. Because as an animal exhibiting biological responses, my system chooses flight over fight. |
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